Ashton's Blog!!

There is so much to say about Bruce as he descends into repression. On page 120, we see an image of Bruce when he was young wearing a woman’s bathing suit, not for a joke or humiliation, but instead carrying an air of elegance. This image gives us a glimpse of a young Bruce that is antithetical to him as an adult, back when he was comfortable displaying feminine traits. I think it's specifically meaningful because it's physical proof that Bruce was not always as repressed about his sexuality. While it's common to see stories of queer people that come out after years of repression or those who stay in the closet and repress forever, he breaks the expectation by showing us a past where he seemed to embrace it, essentially devolving.  We discover more of Bruce’s relationship with homosexuality on page 100 when Alison finds a photograph of Roy, who was Alison’s underage babysitter. It features Roy laying shirtless on a bed, taken when Bruce took his children and Roy on vaca...

According to the National Institutes of Health, DPDR (Depersonalization Derealization Disorder) is a disorder referring to an “estranged state of mind” with a “profound feeling of detachment to one’s sense of self and the surrounding environment,” ( https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10132272/ ). However, Ester displays both derealization and depersonalization in different instances, showing her symptoms amount to more than just dissociation. While depersonalization is a detachment from one's self, often described as being outside of your body and observing your life, derealization focuses on the environment and others being seen as unreal, dreamlike, or distorted. DEREALIZATION In chapter 9, Ester describes Hilda in many notable terms, for instance, comparing her movements to a mannequin's in page 99. Ester even writes Hilda as doubting her existence herself. “She stared at her reflection in the glossed shop windows as if to make sure, moment by moment, that she continue...

Mr. Antolini is introduced as a guiding figure for Holden. We are first introduced to him when Holden needs a place to stay, not wanting his parents to find out he was kicked out of Pencey. Holden trusts his teacher enough to stay at his place when he is vulnerable.  Holden writes that Antolini is a heavy drinker, and offers him a cigaretteIt's clear that Holden’s and Mr Antolini’s relationship is unconventional. Antolini interacts more casually than a teacher, creating an air of authenticity that Holden finds refreshing. It's also worth noting that Holden trusts him enough to listen to his criticism. When Holden expresses his dislike for Oral Expression, having flunked that class, Antolini goes on to have a thorough conversation with Holden. This advice clearly left an impression on Holden, as he stated:  “I laid awake for just a couple of seconds thinking about all that stuff Mr Antolini’d told me. About finding out the size of your mind and all. He was really a pretty smart...